How Black Broke Potter
by We're All M-M-Mad Here
Summary: An alternative ending to How Potter broke Black. What would have happened if Sirius' parents didn't put off taking him to the Death eaters?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

_Does it depress you?_

"Walburga, don't" his father snapped, grabbing his mother's wand arm to stop her from casting the deadly curse "We can't kill him, think about how it will look. We will hand him over to the death eaters tomorrow, it will just look like another attack on a blood traitor"

Sirius felt a sharp pain in its chest and it blended in with all his physical pain. The only reason his father wouldn't let his mother kill him was because of their fucking image. His mother reluctantly nodded.

"Fine, have it your way, Orion, but I don't want him in this house any longer, we'll take him today" his mother spat.

Sirius had just enough memory to turn his head to see his mother pick an ink pot off of a side table and watch as It glowed blue as she pointed her wand at it and say "portus" before his vision blurred and he passed out.

When Sirius came to he groaned in pain. An intense agony was spreading through his body from his parents tortures.

He opened his eyes blearily. He was chained to a wall, slumping forward with his arms pulled tight above his head. Looking around he saw that he was in a small cell, the walls made of stone and the door opposite him made of metal.

The lock on the door suddenly unlocked noisily and his gaze snapped forward to look at it and his head pounding, making him groan.

The door swung open, the metal echoing against the stone walls as it swung open. His breathing hitched and his eyes widened in surprise when he was met with Bellatrix standing in the doorway, a malicious smile on her face.

"Ready to have some fun baby cousin?" Bellatrix asked teasingly.

"What?" Sirius croaked in confusion, his head still fuzzy from all the tortures from his parents.

"Auntie Walburga and Uncle Orion bought you in to get killed, but I had a better idea and the Dark Lord agrees" Bellatrix told him with a pleased smile that immediately put him on edge, anything Bellatrix was pleased about couldn't be good.

"And what idea is that?" Sirius asked, his head falling forward onto his chest, not having enough energy to hold it up anymore.

"We want to know how to get past the Potter's wards" Bellatrix told him.

Sirius felt like his heart had stopped, his breathe freezing in his lungs. Not that. Anything but that. They couldn't be focusing on the Potters, they couldn't be targets. The image of Potter manor, burnt and blackened with the dark mark hovering in the air appeared in his mind, and Sirius felt a sharp pain in his chest that had nothing to do with his parents' cutting charms.

Bellatrix gripped his chin tightly, her fingers bruising and fingernails cutting into his skin. She forcibly tilted his head up so that he could meet her manic black eyes and she smiled meanly.

"And I get to torture you until you give me the answers we want" Bellatrix said as though there was nothing she would rather do.

She pulled back and it took Sirius an unbelievable amount of effort to continue holding his head up and keep looking at his cousin.

"So, are you going to give me an answer?" Bellatrix asked him, but he stayed silent as a dribble of blood escape his lips, it hurt too much to talk, and it wasn't like Sirius was going to tell her anyway. "Okay, more fun for me. Crucio!"

Sirius screamed, all he could do was scream. It hurt so bad, pain upon pain upon pain. He just wanted it to end, but he wasn't going to betray the Potters, not James, not again.

It had been a week and all the days had been bleeding together with nothing but agony and torture, the only reason he knew it had been a week was because Bellatrix was _oh so kind enough _to tell him.

"Does it depress you? To know just how alone you are, no family and no friends" Bellatrix taunted.

Sirius' only answer was a groan in pain.

"This is your last chance, either tell us how to get to the potters or I'll kill you. So what are you going to do?" Bellatrix asked.

"I'm going to die." Sirius croaked "What are you going to do?"

"Well, first is going to kill you and then I'm going to torture James potter for the information you wouldn't give. The other death eaters are off to get him as we speak"

James was mischievous and a troublemaker, but at the same time he was so innocent, so sheltered. Sirius knew he would rather die than let the death eaters taint him, corrupt his optimistic mind so filled with joy and hope.

"No, you can't!"

"Oh yes I can, ickle Siri, and I will." She replied with a triumphant smile.

Sirius knew there was no way to stop her, even though he wished he could, so he said the only other thing that was on his mind.

"I've missed you" Sirius said.

Something flickered in Bellatrix's eyes, but then she blinked and it was gone, and Sirius wondered if he had seen it at all. She didn't stay anything just raised her wand with the deadly curse playing on her lips.

"Please," Sirius interrupted with a weak voice "I'm about to die, so please just reach inside yourself for that last shred of sanity and say it, just once."

There was that flicker again, the one that made her wand shake slightly in her hand. Made her look almost like the girl she used to be, the one who would spend hours telling him stories of Hogwarts and helped him with spells his tutor couldn't seem to teach him and laughed at the pranks he pulled on his other cousins.

He took that flicker as reassurance and pressed on.

"Just give me this. Please, just give me this" Sirius pleaded.

The look in her eyes changed again. The cruel sneer fell from her face to be replaced instead by a look of sadness and perhaps…was that regret?

"I've missed you" Bellatrix told him, not in her mad taunting voice but with a sincerity he hasn't heard for years, her voice cracking slightly in the middle.

A small smile appeared on his face before all he could focus on was the green spell barrelling towards him.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

James growled in annoyance as he was harshly shoved into the cell, but when he turned around to confront the unknown death eater he was met with a metal door slamming in his face and locking noisily.

He looked around his surrounding and sighed. The walls were made of stone so would obviously be impenetrable and there was only a sliver of light available from windows that were too small for him to fit through and even if he could they were too high to reach. Just a few hours earlier he was at home, contemplating his friendship with Sirius while walking down the streets of Godrics Hollow and now he was stuck in Merlin only knew where. He decided to call it 'Hell hole.'

He walked towards the farthest wall opposite the door and sat down heavily. He let his head lean back and rest on the stone as he closed his eyes shut, holding tightly onto the bleeding wound on his arm. When they were bringing him in he was struggling to much to even realise that it bloody well hurt. For someone who hated muggles so much, Bellatrix Black, no Lestrange Sirius had told him she had gotten married a few years ago, sure seemed to like knives.

"Guess you got captured then" a voice suddenly said, making James jump "I was hoping they were lying"

His hazel gaze snapped forward and it rested on Sirius. He was leaning casually against the wall beside the door, his arms crossed across his chest. He looked better than when James had last seen him at Kings Cross, his hair was impeccable again, the black curls resting neatly just below his ears, his grey eyes were no longer tired, his skin no longer pasty. Of course all this meant that James could now focus on the anger and betrayal he felt, forgetting the twinge of guilt he had felt at seeing Sirius in such a state.

"Should have known you'd be here" James said darkly, looking up at his best friend with stony eyes.

"You think I'd work for the death eaters?" Sirius asked, his voice was still stead but his grey eyes revealed the hurt he felt.

James eyed him. He wasn't sure what to think, his heart was telling him that no matter what Sirius did there was no way he would join Voldemort, but then how could he be standing in front of him now without even a scratch? It was the only logical conclusion.

However, despite the hurt look in Sirius' eye, the hurt James himself felt stopped him from feeling guilty at the accusation.

"Well, after everything you've done you can hardly blame me" James shrugged, before wincing and gripping his bleeding arm.

"Oh, suck it up" Sirius scoffed.

"Excuse me, but my arm's hurting" James ground out through gritted teeth.

"Trust me, you haven't even begun to feel pain yet, it's only going to get worse from here, Prongs" Sirius said.

James noticed that Sirius' words weren't meant as a threat and was too busy trying to decipher the meaning to stop himself from snapping "Don't call me that"

He looked resolutely away from Sirius, not wanting to admit that his statement before was probably correct, a cut on his arm by a muggle knife was probably nothing compared to what the death eaters had in store for him.

"Fine…Potter" Sirius said and James winced at Sirius using his last name, but when James turned to look at him, he was no longer standing beside the door.

James turned his head to look around the cell, but it was empty except for him. He frowned, he hadn't heard the heavy metal door open or close.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

James took in a shaky breath as he slumped against the stone wall, and groaned n pain as he jumped slightly from the door slamming close and the lock sliding into place.

He slowly slid down the wall until he was sitting down. He clutched his middle awkwardly, it was surely going to bruise from all the kicks he had received, he had been coughing up blood when they had stopped. However, that had paled in comparison to the cruciatus, he had never felt anything like it. It felt like he was on fire, and his veins were melting, head exploding.

"Let me guess" Sirius' voice came suddenly, making James' head snap to where it had came from.

Sirius was sitting cross legged opposite him. He looked the same as he had when James saw him a couple of days ago. He noted how Sirius clenched his jaw angrily as he took in James' bruises and shaky hands. James would never admit how glad he was that it appeared Sirius still cared.

"First time with the cruciatus" Sirius finished with raised brows, as though he was daring James to deny it.

James sighed, too tired from all the pain he had gone through to come up with a snappy retort.

"How do you know?" he asked, his voice hoarse from all the screaming.

"The shaking hands" Sirius said and James' lips twitched slightly when he heard the sympathy in his voice "I'm not going to tell you the curse gets better in time, because it doesn't. But, I can tell you that after a while the after-shocks are easier to handle"

"Yeah, and how do you know?" James scoffed, trying and failing to steady his hands.

Sirius shrugged.

"I'm a disappointment to the Black's, the cruciatus was one of the many punishment" Sirius said, making James' eyes snap to his, trying to see if he was lying, but James was horrified to see that he wasn't "the first time was when I came home in first year, when I was sorted into Gryffindor. That was the reason I wasn't allowed to come to your house, my parents wanted to punish me"

James remembered that summer, apart from occasionally playing with some muggle kids in a park nearby, all he did was mope. He was suddenly not used to not being with his best friend every second of the day, and all the while he didn't know Sirius was being tortured.

He knew Sirius better than anyone, how had he not known?

"You were eleven" James whispered, horrified.

"Yeah, but I had been getting beaten since I was eight and decided to talk to a muggle" Sirius replied and his casual voice made James sick to his stomach.

How had he not seen this? He had noticed how hungry he was when he got back from the summer holidays but he had brushed it off, and he few bruises he had seen he put to Sirius being clumsy. He had seen how when he visited his house Sirius seemed to soak up his parent's love like a sponge.

James couldn't even imagine what it must have been like. James had always been loved, always doted on. How horrible must Sirius' home life be?

"Why did you tell me before?" James asked quietly.

"Why do you think?" Sirius asked, rolling his eyes "because I didn't want you to look at me like that, with pity, I was fine, I handled it"

James was too busy processing this knew revelation to notice that Sirius was talking in past tense.

"But, I could have helped you" James said, any anger he felt at Sirius dissipating for the moment "you could have come stayed with me"

Sirius gave him a soft smile, but his eyes were sad.

"That's what Reg always used to tell me. I was a bit of an idiot to be honest" Sirius said with small bitter laugh.

That time James did notice that Sirius spoke in past tense and was about to question it when he yawned instead.

"Go to sleep, you're going to go through more torture tomorrow, and it will be better on a full night's sleep" Sirius told him.

James closed his eyes and in a matter of seconds he was asleep. When he awoke in the morning he had forgotten what he wanted to ask Sirius, but it hardly mattered, because he wasn't there.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

"What was it this time then? Based on the cuts I'd say my dear cousin Bella got a hold of you" James didn't jump at the voice this time, used to hearing it now, Sirius had been visiting him every day for the past week since he got captured.

He looked forward to see Sirius sitting opposite again.

James winced as he pulled himself into a sitting position. His clothes were caked with blood, and it was only getting worse as his weeping wounds continued to bleed. He was covered in cuts, some small, some big, it seemed Bellatrix rather enjoyed cutting; he even had the words blood traitor carved into his left arm.

"Yeah, she seems rather fond of knives" James groaned.

Sirius moved to sit next to him and he frowned as he inspected the cuts, his jaw set in what James could see was anger.

"It's about the only thing muggle she approves of, their weapons. She likes the way they invent ways to kill each other" Sirius said. "She's always been rather addicted to blood. She used to cut herself when we were little; she used to like watching herself bleed"

"Sounds about right, she's insane" James groaned.

"Don't call her that" Sirius told him softly.

James looked over at him in surprise, before he scoffed and shook his head.

"Why should I even be surprised you're defending her, you're with the death eaters now. Why are you even here?" James said, donning a cold voice again.

"This is hell, and you can't leave, trust me, you'll want the company" Sirius said. "and besides if cutting makes you insane, is that what I am?" Sirius asked.

He pulled up his sleeves and James let out a gasp as he saw the many overlapping scars on his arms, all the way up to his elbow.

"Y-you did that to yourself?" James asked, horrified.

"Mostly" Sirius shrugged. "The oldest ones my father Imperiused me to do. But the rest are all me. I used to do it when my mother's words got to me; I stopped once I got to Hogwarts, because I was happier, I had friends, but after we fell out…well…" Sirius shook his head, trailing off.

Jams swallowed a lump in his throat, guilt twisting its way inside of him. He drove his best friend, or former best friend, to hurt himself. He couldn't believe he had done hat. How he hadn't realised how much him ignoring him affected Sirius.

"Bella didn't used to be mad, you know" Sirius told him softly, pulling his sleeves back down.

"She has as long as I've known her" James scoffed.

"Yeah, I know. She went mad around fourteen, it's from all the inbreeding in a blood, only a few manage to avoid it. She used to be my best friend in the whole world" Sirius said, and James couldn't help but smile when he saw a far off look in his eyes and the soft reminiscent smile on his lips.

"What happened?" James asked.

"What always happens. The Black insanity" Sirius replied.

"But you didn't go insane" James pointed out.

"Course I did James, you just weren't there to see it. I managed to pull myself out of it though" Sirius replied, with a bitter smile and James felt sick at the thought of Sirius being as mad as the rest of his family, he knew he had called him a Black, but he wasn't, he only said that out of anger.

"Why did you do it?" James asked suddenly.

Sirius eyed him, and James met his gaze head on, his grey eyes were so sad. He looked as though he was almost considering not answer, but he sighed.

"I didn't, not really" Sirius said finally.

James shook his head angrily.

"What do you mean you didn't? Of course you did, I was the one who had to pull Snivillus away from the womping willow" James said in annoyance.

James' anger didn't seem to faze Sirius.

"I was under the Imperius James. My mother had done it as a punishment for talking to Andromeda. That's why I was spending so much time in the library with Lily, she was trying to help me find a loop hole" Sirius explained.

James opened his mother to say something, but no sound came out. He couldn't believe it. He had spent all that time being angry at Sirius, hating him a passion, feeling guilty and betrayed, ignoring him and the whole time it wasn't really his fault. He suddenly remembered Lily's words "no I don't know what he did! But unlike you I know why he did it!"

James swallowed back bile.

"Oh Merlin" James choked out, before turning to Sirius, guilty tears filling his eyes "why didn't you just tell us?"

"It was part of mother's Imperius, no one was allowed to know" Sirius told him.

"But you told Evans" James pointed out.

"That was one loop hole I found. Lily was a muggleborn, in my mother's eyes she is no one. The second loop hole I found was that I could tell you what I did as long as I didn't tell you my mother made me do it" Sirius said.

James quickly wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, not wanting to cry.

"Padfoot, I'm so sorry" James said, his voice braking in the middle.

James winced when Sirius positively beamed at the nickname, it said something when just that small thing made him seem happier than James had seen him for a long while.

"You've got nothing to apologize for Prongs, I deserved most of it" Sirius told him.

James looked at him in shock, not expecting those words to come out of his mouth.

"What?!" James cried "Of course you didn't deserve it"

Sirius frowned, seemingly confused, making James grit his teeth angrily, at the fact that Sirius' parents had twisted his friends mind into thinking he deserved to be beaten.

"Yes I did. I was an awful son, I never did as I was told, always rebelling, and I was a terrible friend, I should have fought the imperius harder" Sirius said.

"Padfoot-" James started but his head snapped forward when he heard the lock slide open and when he turned back to Sirius he was gone.

James frowned in confusion, looking around the cell, but it was empty. He would have to ask him how he had gotten out later.

"Ready for round two?" Bellatrix's voice came when she stepped into the cell, her manic eyes bright.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

"I can't believe we got rescued" James grinned at Sirius, who was sitting next to him on his bed.

"Wow, you really have some faith in your father's Auror abilities don't you Prongs" Sirius teased.

"Oh shut up" James snapped, but he couldn't stop smiling, he was out of that hell hole, with his best friend once again at his side again, he had never been happier.

He heard a sound behind him and James turned sharply, just like he had done since he had been captured. He hated that he jumped at small noises, it made him seem weak, but he could stop it. He half expected Bellatrix to jump out with her knife and wand, cruciatus at the ready.

"Sorry" his mother apologised when she saw his startled expression, standing in his door way "sweetie, who are you talking to?"

"Sirius of course" James said, looking at his mother like she was mad, it was quite obvious, since he was sitting right next to him.

His mother looked at him wearily.

"James there's no one there" his mother said softly.

James turned, half expecting Sirius to have scarpered off to make him look mad, but he was right where he had been, looking the same as usual, but he had gone tense since his mother had walked in.

"What are you talking about? Sirius is sitting right there" James said, pointing at Sirius.

"James" his mum said softly, biting her lip as tears filled her eyes "honey, Sirius is dead"

James felt as though he been punched in the chest, and all the air escaped his lungs.

"W-what?" he stuttered.

He eyed his mother for a second, expecting her to tall him it was all a joke, but as a tear escaped her eyes and fell down her cheek. There was raw pain in her eyes, James knew she thought of Sirius as a second son. She was telling the truth.

"When?" James croaked.

"The day you were captured" she said softly.

James nodded numbly, not even feeling his mother kiss the top of his head, or hearing the words of comfort she spoke before she left to apparently get him some tea. All he could think about was that Sirius was dead. He had been with him for the passed few weeks, Sirius had been with him in that hell hole, had made him laugh when all he wanted to do was give up.

"Y-you're dead?" James stuttered, turning to Sirius, his hazel eyes filled with tears as they began to fall down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry prongs" Sirius said sadly "I'm really fucking sorry"

"B-but you can't. I've been talking to you, you're right here!" James cried, reaching out and grabbing Sirius' hand in his own.

"I'm here because you want me to be Prongs, I'm pushing from the other side and you're pulling from this one" Sirius explained, tears falling down his own cheeks.

"Why didn't you tell me?" James sobbed, the hand that wasn't grasped in Sirius' moving to claw at his chest, almost as though he could yank the pain out of himself.

Sirius took in a shaky breath and looked at James with eyes sadder than he had ever seen them, making James cry harder.

"When I realised I could talk to you, I just wanted to explain, so you'd forgive me. But you didn't know I was dead. I'm all alone on the other side James, but for a while I could just pretend it was you and me again. Padfoot and Prongs" Sirius said, his voice cracking as he began to cry in earnest.

James let out a sob and pulled Sirius into a tight hug, burying his face in his best friend's neck. Inhaling the familiar scent of apples and pine and _Sirius, _gripping at Siriusshirt with desperate fingers, scared he was going to disappear if he let go.

"You're my best friend, my brother. What am I supposed to do without you?" James sobbed into Sirius' neck.

Sirius tightened his hold on James, not wanting to let him go and buried his face into his messy black hair, his tears wetting his scalp, but James didn't care. His best friend was fucking dead.

"I'm sorry, Jamie" Sirius whimpered, and James' body began to shake, his sobs becoming silent.

"You want to know why you're the only one other than my mum allowed to call me that?" James asked, his voice muffled by his friend's shoulder.

"Why?" Sirius asked, his voice barely a whisper.

"Because, you seemed so honest. Everyone else uses it mockingly, but yours was loving and caring, as soon as you used that name and it comforted me instead of pissing me off I knew we were going to be best friends forever" James said, making Sirius cry harder "Til death do is part" James joked lamely.

"Nah, right here, you see even death cant part us" Sirius replied with a laugh that sounded more like a sob.

James stayed like that for a time, long after his sobs had stopped and it was just silent ears that seemed to not want to stop and pain in his chest so palpable it consumed him.

What was he supposed to do now? All the happiness he had been feeling just not that long ago was gone, vanished and it seemed as though he was never going to get it back. Sirius was his other half, he finished his sentences, could read Sirius' thoughts as though they were his own. It felt as though he had been ripped in two, had his soul sucked out by a dementor. Not talking to Sirius since the whomping willow incident had been awful, and when they reconnected in that cell and got rescued he'd never felt better, but knowing his best friend, his brother, his twin, _Sirius_ was dead…it was torture.

"You need to let go Prongs" Sirius voice came, breaking the silence.

James pulled back from the hug, and wiped the tears from his cheeks, only for them to be replaced with new ones.

Sirius looked how James suspected he did. His face was flushed, wet with tears, his eyes puffy and red rimmed, an immense sadness inside them, but also something James could only describe as acceptance, but James pretended he didn't see that.

"Sorry Pads, was I holding too tight?" James asked, try and failing to dry his wet eyes.

"That's not what I meant and you know it" Sirius said softly, a sad smile on his face. "You have to let _me_ go."

"I don't want you to go" James cried, gasping for air as he choked on sobs, clutching to Sirius' hand like a life line.

"Me neither. I'd be by your side forever if I could" Sirius sobbed.

"Then stay" James begged, reaching forward to grab him into another hug so that he wouldn't be able to leave, but Sirius pulled back.

Sirius shook his head.

"I can't Prongs. I'm dead, and being with you won't change that. I don't belong here. Not anymore" Sirius told him sadly. "You need to move on. _I _need to move on. Who knows maybe I'll find my uncle Alphard"

James closed his eyes tightly and focused on Sirius.

_The black haired boy grinned up at him, a smile that looked strange on his sad face, but James decided he liked it. _

"_I'm James Potter, what's your name?" James said with smile as he sat down opposite him. _

"_I'm Sirius" the boy replied, James frowned at the lack of last name, but decided to move past it. _

"_**Did you see Snivillus' face?" Sirius said, releasing a bark like laugh.**_

"_**I know, I thought he was going to wet himself" James laughed, wrapping his arm around his best mate. **_

_James looked at Sirius with teary hazel eyes as they lay facing each other on Sirius' bed in the middle of the night._

"_Don't worry, Jamie" Sirius said softly, wiping the tears off of his cheeks "She'll come around. She just doesn't see the real you, you're an amazing person." He said comfortingly, placing a kiss on his forehead._

"_**You- you're- you're my best friend Prongs" Sirius slurred as they collapsed into James' bed, completely sloshed.**_

"_**Of-of course I am Pads- and –and you're mine" James slurred back and pulled Sirius into a rough kiss.**_

_James almost turned around when he saw Sirius leaning against the wall in the empty hall way, but he forced himself to continue walking, resolutely not looking in his direction. He sighed in relief when he finally passed him._

"_I miss you" Sirius' voice suddenly blurted behind him. _

_James stopped in his tracks, his breath hitching at the pain in Sirius voice. He didn't turn around, he couldn't, he didn't want Sirius to see the tear that fell down his cheek. He couldn't forgive Sirius, not for a long time, even though something deep inside screamed at him to say 'don't let me leave, I need you more than I say.'_

"_Well, don't" James said instead, keeping his voice cold, before he continued to walk, forcing himself not to sprint away. _

"_**You have to let **_**me**_** go"**_

When James reopened his eyes, it was to see an empty space next to him. He turned to look at the rest of his room, but nothing showed any sign of Sirius.

James whimpered. Perhaps that muggle saying was right: 'the way the world ends is not with a bang, but with a whimper' because Sirius was dead, so surely the world must have ended now. It was the only hope James had left. He didn't want to live in a world where Sirius didn't exist, he couldn't, not for a moment, not for a second.

He grabbed his pillow close to his chest before curling himself around it and falling into a ball on his bed, sobbing for all he was worth.

"Oh, Jamie" James' mother's voice came suddenly, and it only made him sob harder at the name Sirius called him.

As soon as he felt his mother's gentle fingers on his shoulder he pulled her into a hug, holding onto her with a desperation he hadn't had since he was child. Sobs continued to wrack his body and he barely even felt his mother's tears wetting his shoulder.

"He's gone mum" James cried.

"I know, I know" She said softly, rocking him back and forth, but it did nothing to dull the agony of the fact that his best friend was gone.

Sirius is gone and James falls asleep with nightmares of blood and torture and Sirius' eyes dead and empty.

It appeared nothing haunted you like the things you didn't say, at least that was true in James' case. He lay awake every night, dreading going to sleep, not wanting to be plagued with nightmares of blood and torture and Sirius' dead eyes, thinking of what he wished he said when he had the chance.

He wished he could tell Sirius he forgave him, not that there was anything to forgive really, but it needed to be said. He wanted to tell him how much he loved him, because he did, he was his brother in all but blood, and he felt an excruciating pain at him being dead. But most of all, he wanted to say how sorry he was, he knew Sirius would just wave it off, but he needed to hear it.

Hell, James needed to say it, needed to get it off his chest even though it would do next to nothing to lessen the agony inside of him. Nothing would, because Sirius wasn't here, he never would be, and this pain would be with him until death.

Each night for a long time, he falls asleep wishing it was all just a fucking lie, but Sirius is always dead when he wakes up.


	6. Chapter 6

Changes

**Author's note: it may not have been clear but that was in fact the end of the AU, because I couldn't quite think of what else to do, however, if you want it know how Sirius' death changed the course of the future, here it is:**

After Sirius' death, James became more mature in his grief, meaning he and Lily got together in their sixth year rather than seventh.

The marauders were a lot more tight knitted after their lost and Peter stayed loyal to his friends, not betraying them.

Lily and James had their first child in July of 1978. It was a boy named Sirius James Potter, McGonagall almost had a conniption when she heard his name. He had messy red hair and emerald eyes, but still looked a lot like his father.

Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor almost as soon as the hat touched his head.

Sirius Potter, true to his namesake grew up to be a chaser on the Gryffindor team and prankster and was best friends with Fred and George Weasley.

Lily and James had their second child, Harry Anthony Potter (Anthony being Lily's father's name), two years later.

When the prophecy came, Lily, James, Sirius and Harry went into hiding, Remus being their secret keeper.

Remus was tortured for information but he wouldn't give and was therefore killed, the secret dying with him. Voldemort went after the Longbottoms instead, and Neville Longbottom became the boy who lived.

Under Sirius' name on his grave were the words 'I solemnly swear I'm up to no good' and on the grave next to his were the words 'mischief manage' having been where Remus Lupin was buried.

James visited Sirius' and Remus' grave every holiday and was particularly mopey, often drinking himself in a stupor, on Sirius' birthday.

When Sirius Potter was eight and Harry Potter six, Lily and James had a little girl with red hair and hazel eyes, called Briar Rose Potter, named after the princess in Lily's favourite fairy tale.

Since Lily was never killed, Snape never switched sides and was sent to Azkaban for life for being a death eater.

Harry was still in Gryffindor, only his sorting was a lot quicker without the horcrox inside of him attracting Slytherin, and became best friends with Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Neville Longbottom, the four of them going on many adventures to stop Voldemort.

James was a successful order, second only to Moody, Lily became the Potions Mistress at Hogwarts and Peter got a job at the daily profit.

Peter married Mary McDonald and had a little girl the same age as Sirius called, Gemima Pettigrew and another daughter a year above Briar called Maisie Pettigrew.

Peter was killed in the first battle of Hogwarts by Severus Snape.

James was killed by Lucius Malfoy when he was fighting Bellatrix Lestrange to overcome with his need for revenge on the woman who killed his best friend to see the green spell heading towards him in the department of mysteries in Harry's fifth year, leaving the Potter's and Pettigrews distraught.

Sirius Potter was killed in the process of taking Neville to a safe house in Harry and Neville's sixth year.

Lily was killed by Voldemort himself in the final battle.


End file.
